Giraffes are awesomely tall and adorably awkward. Regal is just another word for classy.
So that's how I would describe my life.
So Giraffe-ly Regal.

Monday, July 17, 2017

How to be Happy

It's 1.49am at the moment but being the supportive big sister that I am *coughs*, I am accompanying my baby sister (well, okay, not-so-baby 14-year-old sister) finish off her homework. She has these essays she has to write based on pie charts or something lame like that.

We were actually from our grandparents' place earlier. I've been talking to my aunt over whatsapp and listening to her airing her grievances about a lot of the awful stuff she had to deal with lately but actually seeing how tired her eyes looked and how dark her eye bags are really made my heart crack. I wish I can help her. I wish I can do something. But soon, InsyaAllah. When I'm more independent and can stand on my own.

I have all these plans laid out. And I know I'm supposed to be dead sure but being so inexperience at life had me doubting myself. Can I really do this? Are my dreams too unrealistic? Is this too impossible? What if they're the chosen ones and I'm not? What if I'm just not good enough? What if this is a mistake? What if this isn't worth it? What if I'm just wasting my time? What if I ruin everything? It's like there're all these uncertainties swirling around in my head. And I'm afraid that I'll make another mistake which won't just affect me but also the people supporting me. However, I think this is just part and parcel of being young. You have practically nothing figured out. I asked most of my friends about what they want in life, what are their highest pursuits, what are the dreams that keep them up at night, the goals that they want so bad that they could cry just talking about it, and the only thing they answered me was: "I just want to be happy." "I'm just doing this because it feels right at the moment." "I'm just gonna see where this goes."

"I just want to be happy." That's mind-boggling to me.

Really? That's it? That's the highest pursuit of your entire existence? YOU were chosen to be born and the only thing you want to be is to be happy? That's it?

I mean I don't wanna sound like a douche but isn't that a little... selfish? Not to mention unambitious. And kind of lame.

No offense to the American Dream. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Those stuff are cool and all but happiness is just so... easy.

Class gets cancelled. You're happy. The new episode of GOBLIN comes out. You're happy. BTS releases a new song. You're happy. You get a 50 likes on your picture on instagram. You're happy. Big Apple gives you an extra donut. You're happy. It doesn't take much.

Happiness comes and goes. Life happens and you get frustrated. Then you try to be happy again. SO you keep going after this drug of happiness but it keeps slipping away. It doesn't stay with you.

I don't understand when people say "I just want to be happy." What does that even mean? Nobody is always happy. Allah gave us a huge score of emotions to experience in life. And they're all part of a healthy life. Happiness is just one of them. So if the only thing you have going for in life is happiness then sorry to say, you're probably in for a lot of disappointments. No human is going to be constantly living in a state of happiness. I mean I'm not saying people should be depressed but life is about struggles too, no? When you're studying for finals, you're not happy. When you're driving on the highway for the first time and sweating buckets, you're not happy. When you have to give a speech in Chinese for the first time, you're not happy. When you're working out and you're half-dying, you're NOT happy.

Life can't just be about being happy. "I just want to be happy" is such a cliche thing to say. I mean there HAS to be something you really want in this life. People you want to help. Records you want to break. Impacts you want to make. Excellence you want to achieve. There are endless possibilities. So many things you can do for the society, for your country, for the world. There's gotta be something that resonates deeply within you. Something that makes your heart beat faster just by thinking about it. Something that pushes you to fight through anything just to get it.

I'm not sure if this is an INTJ thing. I've always been ambitious but I never tell people about my goals. I keep them hushed because I get insecure about every little thing. But I have a notebook solely for writing my goals. I'm always drafting and redrafting it. Planning what to do next, which book to get, what talk to attend, who to talk to, what time I should practice what skill. Target, research, plan, execute.

I have this standard that I expect myself to achieve. This level I need to be at by the age of 25. It sounds hardcore to some people but that's just how I'm programmed I guess. Or probably how I was raised. My parents never push me to do anything. But every time I look at my dad, seeing how knowledgeable, how kind, how rational, how compassionate, how patient, how competent, how multilingual he is, it makes me want to work harder. I want to be worthy of being called his daughter. I am his daughter.

And I want to make him the proudest father ever.
Sure, he never ask anything of me but sometimes I just want to give the whole world to him.

Okay, I have a ton more I want to write about but it's 2.57am so I should end this post here. Bottom line is, goals make humans happy. When you have a purpose in life, you'll have this feeling of being so alive, so awake and driven that nothing can bring you down. I don't think I'm in a position to give advice since I myself am still stumbling through life but if there's one thing that I hope you'll get out of this post, it's this: Have a goal in life, a goal so big that it sets your soul on fire

Doesn't matter how old you are. Dreams are age-less.

Good night, guys.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

First ELKEN event

It happened again, you guys.

Yesterday, my friend and I were meeting up for something at 2pm but suddenly my friend dropped an invitation on me. It was an ELKEN event. I knew it was an MLM. And I know I'm already in Amway but... for curiosity's sake, I accepted the invitation anyways. My upline is probably gonna freak, haha but hey ya can't stop me. I told my heart I'm not gonna fall in love with ELKEN. I'm still pretty young in Amway so the reminder was there just to be safe. I trust my firm resolution so I wasn't very worried to be honest. ELKEN is a Malaysia-born MLM and it's supposedly the top MLM in Malaysia so I was wondering what they're like. At 6pm, I took the LRT and got off at KL Gateway Universiti station. Took a cab, reached the HQ and my friend paid for the taxi fare.

There was a buka puasa buffet which was good. They had Tarawih as well. I think this is one of the things I wish Amway had as well. More Islamic stuff. I mean I'm in the Chinese group so of course I'm deprived of these things. Anyways, ELKEN's theme color was red so there were red blazers, red ties and red necklaces everywhere. I also happened to be wearing a red blouse and red tudung. Huh. What a coincidence. 

After eating, my friend gestured a guy to come sit at our table. He was African and he was apparently her downline. Let's call him Y. We talked a bit and Y said he was doing his masters in IIUM. I was like... Oh cool. We talked about his travels and the Malay language a little. He asked me where I studied. I answered and then he was like WOW no wonder your English is PERFECT. Only top students go there! Your English is the best I've heard so far!

I vaguely feel like he had just insulted the whole IIUM but anyways. I felt uncomfortable so I excused myself to the ladies' room. When I came back, my friend handed me the ticket to the event. It looked very.... Hmm Idk I think ELKEN should invest in a good graphic designer. Designing, I believe, is of utmost importance when it comes to business. If your products are fantastic but you wrap them up like poop then people are gonna think it's... well, poop. But some people just don't have the flair for designing. I think back about my brother-in-law's failed attempt at designing his own wedding card and I'm again reminded of that fact. My sister practically screamed in horror when she first saw it on her phone. And we were at a restaurant at the time. 

Anyways, so at the entrance of Diamond Hall 2, they gave me two black pills with my torn ticket. I thought umm okay, not your usual sweets and notepad gifts but okay. I sat wayyyy at the front. First row. Because I'm here for the talk, not for the back of people's heads. Haha! My friend asked me to reserve a seat because she needed to take some calls but she never turned up. Instead, Y was sitting next to me the whole time. He was nice and friendly and all but I'm just not used to sitting next to a guy or talking to a guy and there were a ton of people behind us so I was very self-conscious and stiff and being my usual overly careful self. 

Aaanyways, the talk was about MIME. Mycellium Immunology Something Something. It was great! But to be completely honest, I only understood maybe 52% of the whole presentation. Science and me do not usually go together. I feel like I'm in Biology class in  high school again. NK cells. Dendritic cells. Transcription. Genetic Expression. Lymphocytic toxicyty. Uhh... Okay? It really surprised me how much this company includes their distributors in the research process of their products. I mean the presentation was some pretty intense stuff. There were graphs and diagrams and a ton of test results and scientific terms flying around. But sorry to say, I think the presentation was wasted on me haha. 

The presenter was a Japanese man named Dr. Kohei Homma. His English was very good and he seemed to really know his stuff. I really liked how he pronounced certain words. I liked his demeanor. Very courteous and gentle. I think that's always the first thing I notice about a guy. Body language. Some guys are just attractive in the way they move. The way he sits, the way he opens a car door, the way he holds a paper cup. Most girls would say his smile or his eyes. But I can't even look at a guy in the eyes so... that's why hahaha

Anyways, I also noticed how ELKEN has this secret handshake. Even the Muslimah MCs do it with all the male leaders who come up on stage. Umm. I don't think that's okay, to be honest. I mean you are in a business to earn and strive for rezeki from Allah but suddenly in the process you're doing things that He clearly told you not to do. How will He give you that rezeki? I'm not trying to be a haram police or represent Allah in any way. It's just that most of us have a habit of brushing off the little sins. We think it's no big deal and we become desensitized to it. But how can you become desensitized to angering the one who created you?

Okay, that went a little deep. Back to the story. After the event, we took like 15 minutes trying to get back to the lobby. The floor plan was really bad. The hallways were clearly too narrow for a hall that could fit a hundred people.  Once we managed to reach the ground floor, we had a "meeting after meeting" where we discuss what we've learned. I think everyone was huddled into little groups and having intense discussions over the many tables in the lobby.  I said a couple of things I learned and earned a single clap.  In ELKEN, apparently, people clap only once after a person speaks. We then took pictures and my friend and I waved goodbye to Y and we headed to my friend's car. I asked my friend why the MCs said Good Morning when it's clearly night time. My friend told me saying Good Morning has this energetic hopeful psychological effect. Huh. That's kind of delusional no? But anyways, it probably worked for some people because my friend was super PUMPED. She was pretty psyched and excited about what she learned from the event and started to tell me about cancer stem cells and how it's a breakthrough in the world of medicine.

My friend then suddenly said Y is very nice isn't he? He paid for your ticket!

My heart dropped right there and then. He did what?!

He said he wanted to pay for your ticket! So I let him!

You did WHAT?

Oh God. AGAIN? Why in the world would he- Okay, to be fair. Y did mention his intentions. But I thought it was a joke! Obviously, you don't just pay for a stranger's ticket. Right?


Why does this keep happening to me? Do I exude a "Pay For Me" vibe around guys?

I mean yeah I'm happy I didn't need to spend the RM5 but I just hate the feeling that I'm somehow indebted to them. Like I now have to be nicer to them at the very least. I do not want to owe anybody anything. I want the right to be mean and not be deemed ungrateful. hah It would be a different story if it was a date. But this is clearly not one. And I barely know him.

But okay, that's that. Anyways.

Overall, I think ELKEN is okay. I can't judge the entire company by just one event. But so far I still love Amway's vibe better. I'm still interested in attending ELKEN events though, especially for beauty and skincare. To be honest, their vibe feels a lot like Forever Living but with more culture. Also... Their logo looked so familiar. I feel like my mom might have bought a thing or two from ELKEN before, when I was younger.

So... That's it. I'm tired of facing this laptop since an hour ago. Can't do this no moreee.

I have so much to tell you guys about life. But it's the end of the month, so things get pretty hectic when you're fighting in Amway. lol

Kay I gotta go.

Bye, guys!

Take care.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

How I Created My Blog Header (Microsoft Word 2013)

First off, I'm gonna say that I self-taught myself how to do this. So I'm pretty sure there are better more awesome ways to create a blog header but this is what I did. And hey, if I can do it, you can too. I used to think designing is kinda hard but I forced myself to watch tutorials after tutorials because I knew that personalizing my own blog is extremely important. Your blog is your own personal space. It's like dressing up your thoughts to make it more presentable and unique. It's yours. All about you. So I'd highly suggest you guys to try it if you haven't. I did this cincai only la. Two hours enough already.

So here goes.

Option A: PicMonkey

Step 1: Download a background. 

I simply googled 'white background' and downloaded it. When you have the background you like, upload it on PicMonkey. Go to the crop section and put in the right dimensions. My header is 790 x 275. It depends on your blog as well, if it's a single column or two-column layout. 

On PicMonkey, you can pretty much create your header already. Everything is there. You can add images from your computer. You can use the fonts. Put all sorts of cool stuff. Go crazy! haha

The downside is... There are very limited fonts. So if there are none which fits your liking. Here is Option B. 

Option B: Word Doc. 

(But if you have Microsoft Publisher, go for it. It's way better.)


I found mine on http://www.1001fonts.com/. There are SO MANY to choose from. So have fun with it. The ones I chose were Royal Serif and Autumn in November. There're also dafont and Squirrel Fonts. So just go ahead and explore. 


Just click on the 'TTF' or Download button. Then open up the 'Fonts' on your computer 'Settings' and paste the TTF file into it. And you're done. Feel free to watch a Youtube Tutorial if you have trouble with this. 

It'll download automatically.


Open up Word Doc. 

Tip: You can get rid of the black outline by pressing 'Shape Outline' and then 'No Outline'. Type in your desired blog title. And rearrange them however you want. You can be creative with the colours, the text effects and even the underline and italics!


Side note: This sacrifices a bit on the quality of the picture. If anyone knows a way to save group text boxes as a Picture, let me know.

Once you're happy with your masterpiece, print the screen. Bottom left on your keyboard, there's 'ctrl'. And top right side, there's 'prt sc sysrq'. Press those two at the same time. Then click 'Paste' on Word Doc. Crop the picture as tight as possible. Save it as 'Picture'. And you're done! I was going to leave it as it is but then I found this giraffe picture. So...


I uploaded the picture of my blog title and added the giraffe picture. Picture Credits to wiebkerauers.tumblr.com! There are so many other cute animals on there so be sure to check it out. :)

And... done. Yay. 

Pretty easy.

Hopefully, the Future Me will find a more professional way to create blog headers like Photoshop or something. But just for the time being, this is my go-to method. 

Hope this post helps. And good luck to all those who attempt! :D 

Please don't

Please don't

Popular Posts